How '3 Steps Home' helps my children


While the majority of the '3 Steps Home' approach focuses on our own inner work, the impact on our children can be mind blowing! I first started to explore how my state influenced my child, when my eldest was a few days old, 15 years ago (eeek!).

My eldest didn't sleep much for the first year or so. I had quite a long labour, and didn't sleep at all for about 3 days, so quickly exhaustion set in for me. I also noticed how my mood was reflected back to me so quickly by my tiny baby. I realised that what I was thinking, how I was feeling, how I was showing up and how I was taking care of myself had a direct link with my baby's experiences.

This might seem completely obvious to many people, and yet to me it was a revelation. I could have an impact on how calm my child was, by exploring how calm I was. This experience started a long journey for me, exploring the connection between my own healing and my children's experiences as they grow.

It started with really simple things like me getting more sleep and having more patience, and developed over time into me exploring deeper healing. The results from my perspective have been completely life changing. My eldest is Autistic (although I didn't know it at the time - that's another story!) and there have been times they have really struggled with appropriate behaviour. Yet the more I dug deep into my own reactions and responses, my own way of being, my fears, my worries and my experiences, the more I could be present for my children, whatever was going on for them.

'3 Steps Home' is set up in 3 parts. The first part is about connecting with yourself. The second part is about connecting with your inner child, and the third part is about connecting with the universe, God, or the bigger picture - however you describe it. I recommend you explore what is going on for you first, wherever possible. When this is not possible, you can park your experiences and come back to them later when you have the appropriate time and space. If you leave your own experiences and don't come back to them, they will come back to you one way or another, and it may not be in the way you would want.

By prioritising our connection with ourselves, we learn what we need, and how to love ourselves unconditionally. This gives us much greater capacity to connect with our children, and offer them the unconditional love and support they need as they grow and develop.

By recognising that there is a power greater than ourselves and our children at work alongside us, we learn to allow things to unfold as they will, without feeling the need to control every last detail. We can make peace with our journey and feel into the universal energy supporting us as we learn to reparent ourselves and our children.

This does not mean you have to agree that all of your behaviour or your children's behaviour is all perfect. It is about accepting that it has happened, feeling the feelings that were there, and bringing that experience back into your inner circle of love. This process transforms your relationship with yourself, gives your children a role model who is exploring their own imperfect healing journey, and gives you the opportunity to break generational patterns that may have been playing out with or without you realising for many years.

I would love to hear your reflections:

  • What do you notice as you read this?
  • What does it bring to your attention? 
  • What beliefs arise?
  • What next step would you like to take as a result?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and I'll keep you up to date with the release of the '3 Steps Home' book and course.

Warmest wishes,


Charlie Mitchell
Founder, Starseed Parenting and '3 Steps Home'


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